There is no very good way to wind this down

Dear all,

Those closest to the family know that we are winding down as we get towards the holidays. Brooke and Karen's respective families are taking care of their estates and dealing with all that that entails. We are all finding new ways to deal with the holiday season that is missing two very special people.

Suffice to say, this blog has been a learning experience for us in how to manage a major life event with so many caring people wanting to be involved. It has allowed us to get in touch, share memories, coordinate memorial services, and to some degree measure what kind of impact Karen and Brooke had on our lives.

At the moment, I don't know how much longer I will continue to update this blog. Though it has been indispensable in coordinating with far flung friends and family, it must have its proper end as well.

This may not be the last post, but then again who knows, it might. Simply put, the blog isn't going anywhere for the foreseeable future, as I envision it as an online memorial to them. But like real-world memorials, it will probably be visited more occasionally around special anniversaries, and when we all feel the need to remember.

Keep in touch, everyone.

The Washington Post Obituaries for Karen and Brooke

You may read the individual obituaries for Karen and Brooke on the Washington Post website.

A colleague and friend of Brookes wrote a nice column on her blog

Carole Sargent, a colleague and friend of Brookes from the National Press Club wrote a lovely entry on her blog. You may read it here.

Memorial service for Karen Dodds (and Brooke) set for DC area on Nov. 10th

The memorial service for Karen Dodds will be Saturday, November 10th, at 11:00 AM, at Church of the Reformation, 212 East Capitol St., NE, Washington.

I will post more details as they become available from Kathleen. As you may have attended the service for Brooke several weeks ago, service is being held primarily in Karen's memory.

There will not be an elaborate reception after this service, though we may have some light refreshments.

In Lieu of Flowers for Karen, please make a donation

The family requests no flowers for Karen's memorial. If you wish to honor Karen and Brooke with a memorial, the family suggests:

For Karen:

• Crohns and Colitis Foundation of America, please click here.
• The Endowment Fund of Lebanon Lutheran Church:
• Lebanon Lutheran ELCA Church
  Attn: "Endowment Fund"
  1101 S. Mears Avenue
  Whitehall, MI 49461
  

For Brooke:

• To donate to Boy Scouts of America, please click here.
• To donate to Conservation International, please click here.
• To donate to the Woolly Mammoth Theatre, please click here.

Karen's funeral has been planned for October 27, 2007 in Whitehall, MI

The State Police found Karen's body on Saturday (Oct. 06, 2007) onshore west of the Mackinac Bridge. The State Police emailed a photo of Karen's diamond ring to Kathleen and she has positively identified it.

Karen's family has planned a funeral service for Saturday, October 27, at Noon, which will include a memorial service for Brooke. It will be followed by a light lunch in the church Fellowship Hall. The church is Lebanon Lutheran Church, 1101 S. Mears Ave., Whitehall, MI.

There are three B&Bs in Whitehall, within walking distance of the church: The Chocolate Cottage, The White Swan and the Finch's Nest. There are two large motels on the outskirts of town: a Ramada and a Best Western.

Interment will be in Rural Hill Cemetery, Northville, MI, the following Monday or Tuesday (we'll let you know).

Karen's family does plan to have a Memorial Service for both Karen and Brooke at Reformation Lutheran Church, 212 East Capitol St. SE, in Washington DC in the near future (we'll let you know).

Even though the MSP stopped searching, area locals did not...

This story is amazing. Even though the MSP stopped searching, area locals did not...

Renewed plane search comes up empty

By MIKE FORNES

Tribune Staff Writer

CHEBOYGAN - An area fisherman's tip led to a renewed search Wednesday for a small plane and its two occupants, missing since late August, but the wreckage was not found.

Chief Marine Deputy Allan May said the fisherman's local knowledge of the area led to the search, conducted during a regular monthly training drill for the Cheboygan County Sheriff's Department Dive Team.

“He fished these waters for a long time and knows the bottom contour well,” May said during a pre-dive briefing for six divers aboard two Sheriff's Department boats. “The fisherman had spotted something on his fish-finder that has not been there in the past; he feels that this is something new to the bottom there.”

The dive teams split into pairs and inspected three sites that May had marked last week with global-positioning co-ordinates. The men were towed behind their boat while holding a tow-bar to pull them along the bottom.

The first target turned out to be a bed of weeds, and the second spot divers said was a large, steep sand bar. The dives were conducted in roughly 50 feet of water between Duncan Point and Cordwood Point. Divers said the temperature of the water was 53 degrees at the surface and slightly colder at depth. Each dive lasted between 15 minutes to 18 minutes.

A third dive attempt failed to produce any targets.

“We didn't see the main object today that I saw last week,” May said. “It had a shape that could have possibly been the tail of a plane, but it's hard to say. That's why we're out here to check on it.”

Choppy seas and strengthening winds made conditions less than ideal for the search, May said. He indicated he would return in the near future to again try to locate the target object identified by the fisherman.

The dive team drills every month of the year and works through various search and rescue scenarios in open water, rivers, and small lakes in all conditions, including ice-covered waters.

A Michigan State Police search for the wreckage was suspended Sept. 17.

The small plane left Mackinac Island with two passengers at approximately 1:30 p.m. on Aug. 24 en route to Bad Axe. Reported to be aboard the plane are pilot Karen Dodds, 51, of Washington, D.C. and her passenger and fiance, H. Brooke Stauffer, 55, also of Washington D.C.

Hilary's eulogy from Brooke's Memorial

Dear everyone,

Thank you all who made it to the memorial service for Brooke. I really have too many people to thank who ensured that Brooke's day of remembrance went off so well, but I will single out Margaret McDermott, who planned the entire affair, for her tireless efforts to make the day run smoothly. Thank you so much Mrs. McD! We love you.

To everyone else, it was so wonderful to meet many of you for the first time either ever, or at least in a very long time. Brooke clearly surrounded himself with quality friends and people.

I have taken a week off from the blog to go on vacation, and am now back. Hilary sent in her eulogy for those who have asked by email. Here it is, unedited:

Brooke Stauffer's eulogy from September 29, 2007.

The last memory I have of me and my father doing something together is of us going to the DMV. I was home, in May, for a friend’s wedding, and since Dad had shifted his homebase to Capitol Hill, I was changing myself into a D.C. resident. Every time I came home from Switzerland, Dad would take off a day from work and we would “do something” together. Just the two of us, Dad and Hil, the Two Musketeers. Normally we tried to do something cultural, or barring that, at least fun…you know, going to a museum or the movies or just walking around a botanical garden somewhere. Often, we ended up at the National Gallery of Art, and would wander the West Wing looking at the impressionists while Dad repeated stories about the artists that he had told me 100 times before. He had a quirky habit of not remembering conversations he’d already had. It didn’t matter, though, because I loved hearing him tell them, and loved just being around him.

On this particular day, however, we got a late start, and I needed to get to the DMV before it closed to change my driver’s license over. And so that’s what we spent our afternoon doing, and it was about as annoying and mundane an activity as you are imagining it to be. We drove over to the DMV facility in Southeast, and then had to return again 20 minutes later, since of course I had forgotten a necessary piece of paper back at the house.

But it didn’t matter. Because even before this awful, tragic accident happened…even before I knew that that would be one of my last memories of my Dad, it was still one of my favorite memories ever. Because I was never happier than when I was with Dad, and it didn’t matter what we were doing. He managed to make a trip to the DMV both cultural and fun. As we drove through the streets of Southeast, he told me stories of when he and my mom were young, poor 20-somethings in love, living in DC with dreams of becoming artists and professional musicians. While I waited in line at the DMV, he contentedly read a book, and afterwards gave me a good synopsis of what it was about. Then, we went to our usual haunt for lunch--McDonald’s--where we shared the exact same meal I must have eaten with him 500 times in my life: two small cheeseburgers and a medium fries. Dad always ordered a chocolate shake, and I got a Diet Coke. Per usual, he let me indulge my passion for salt, not caring that I made the fries nearly inedible in the process.

On the way home he said, like he always did when we got in the car together, “Why don’t you find some cheerful country music for us, dollface?” This was a great sacrifice from a man whose own personal tastes ran to NPR, classical music, or the odd jazz station. But I can’t once remember being in the car with my Dad and having him impose his music on me…and that was Dad in a nutshell. Loving and generous and laidback. In Dad’s mind, the fact that he got to listen to what he wanted on the radio the 355 days a year when I wasn’t in DC meant that it wasn’t such a hardship to let me choose the station when I was home.

But it wasn’t just a sense of relaxed rationality that guided him. Rather, he just so loved being a “Daddy” that any accompanying personal sacrifice was totally worth it. His generosity ran much deeper than ceding control of the radio in the car. Sometimes, he ceded the entire car! When I turned 16, Dad bought me a used car, which I promptly banged up and ran into the ground within a year. (Of course, anyone who knows the Stauffer kids knows this is pretty much par for the course.) He then bought me another used car which died within three months, and so I tragically lived without a vehicle for my first two years of college. By the time I reached my junior year, I thought there was nothing so unjust in the whole world as the fact that I was without a car. (20 is a very self-indulgent age.) So for one semester, my father gave me his beloved Isuzu Trooper to bring to school with me, and took the Metro to work for six months. That’s right--my father was paying for my college education and living expenses, and to reward me for these inequitable circumstances, he gave me use of his car while he took public transportation. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized just how ridiculous this was.

After I graduated college, and became a young adult learning to pay my own way in the world, I would often complain to Dad that life was so expensive, and I could barely afford myself--how would I ever afford to have kids? And during these moments, Dad would look at me and agree that life was expensive but remind me that “everybody gets what they need.” And then he would gently explain that he didn’t have kids because he could “afford to” – in fact, it was just the opposite. Rather, he had kids because he was ready at a very young age to be a “Daddy,” and to have kids whom he could go out and play with.

And he did so love being a Daddy. Whether it was going to the beach and digging a huge hole in the sand as a makeshift playpen for Greg while teaching Chris and me to body surf, or taking me shopping for Prom dresses, or driving up to Scranton Pennsylvania to watch one of the plays that Christian worked on during college or attending Greg’s rugby games during high school, he was there for all of it. And there was nowhere he’d rather be.

One story of my father’s that sticks out very much in my mind is that of the job he took after he and my Mom got married, and had two babies within four years. The job was as a draftsman at a local architecture firm, and it paid $6000 a year, which wasn’t very much money even back in the 1970s. But it only had a four-day work week, which meant he had every Friday off to stay home and help Mom with the babies. To hear him tell it, this shortened work week was worth far more than a bigger paycheck would be, because it allowed him a extra day with the kids--and he would strap Christian in the stroller and me in the backpack, and go out exploring the world.

This may actually be my Dad’s greatest legacy – his firm belief that one should not sit around being bored but go out and “do something.” It didn’t matter what it was…hiking on Sugarloaf Mountain with the Boy Scouts, seeing the new contemporary art exhibit at the Hirshorn Gallery, or driving out to rural Virginia to watch a simulation of firemen rescuing people from a burning building because he had read about it in the Washington Post that day. It is this instinct that I think has made me so willing to try new adventures in my own life. Of course, Dad and I have had many adventures together. We drove cross-country together three times, and saw sights as varied as Graceland to Mount Rushmore, sleeping in uncountable cheap motels along the way.

But now I’m having adventures of my own. I live in Switzerland and have been lucky enough to have the means to travel extensively within Europe. I can tell you that many if not all of my trips have been motivated in some small part by my father’s voice inside my head reminding me not to just sit around…but to go try something new. Sometimes this trip manifests itself as a glamorous trip to Paris for the weekend…sometimes its as mundane as taking a Saturday afternoon to walk down to the local flea market and see their collection of used books. Whatever it is--or was--it was always made more fun by knowing I would get to call my Dad up and talk to him about it afterwards.

And that’s the hardest part. I just miss talking to him. He was my best friend, a source of endless support and good advice. It was my Dad’s encouragement that gave me the wherewithal to chase my dream and move to Europe when I was promised nothing more than a three-month internship making $5/hr. It was my Dad who insisted I go to law school after my Mom died, and made sure I had the means--both emotionally and financially--to do it. It was my Dad who bought me no less than four cameras of increasing sophistication over the years to encourage my photography hobby, and my Dad who would stand patiently beside me for hours while I set up the perfect shot. I just don’t know how to succeed in this world without him.

I guess all I can do is try, although it won’t be easy. All my carefully laid plans are now in shambles. I had grand schemes of continuing to lead the jet-setting life, adopting babies from various African countries and dropping them off with Dad and Karen for extended periods of time while I gallivanted around, saving the world, knowing my kids would be entertained and well-cared for in my absence. I guess I need to re-think these plans now, although I still haven’t really wrapped my head around this whole “parenthood” thing.

But I know that my Dad gave me all the tools I need to succeed, whether in parenthood, career, or life in general. So long as I follow his example, I think I’ll be OK.

- Hilary B. Stauffer (daughter)

Simba looks like he has lots of possible new parents

If you hadn't noticed, we removed the link to adopt Karen's cat, Simba, today. The rescue group has received more than enough good possible leads for new adoptive families, and has asked us to remove the link on the blog as they expect good results with the families that have contacted them. Thank you to everyone who has helped spread the word.

The weather looks great

Well, today is the day and the weather looks great. I look forward to meeting as many of you as show up. To those who cannot attend today, but who have sent cards, flowers, etc... thank you for your loving support.

Just a heads up about this whole Evite thing

Dear friends and family,

Due to my unfamiliarity with Evites, I did not invite people, per se, using their email addresses to send them to the Memorial RSVP Page. A few people pointed this out to me, and I wanted to redress the situation.

This does not mean you can't come. This does not mean you cannot RSVP. What it DOES mean, is that you cannot RSVP, then use the Evite to tell your friends about this Saturday. Just send your friends to the page, if you think there is someone out there who may not know, and who would like to attend.

The URL to send your friends is:

http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=LRWRHSEMRNCSSJGEYTPI

Once again, we ask that everyone who might be there this Saturday RSVP so that we can ensure enough food and drinks.

Please, don't bring gifts of food or flowers (Christian, me, will have to find a place to put them, and his small condo won't fit much), just make a donation to one of Brooke's favorite causes if you feel so moved. A caterer will be handling the event.

xoxo,

Christian

New photos up on Flickr from Merry Bruns

Merry Bruns sent in some new photos which I posted on Flickr.

Karen's cat, Simba, is in need of a loving home

Please note that Simba has been adopted (10 October 2007).

Dear Friends,

Simba, Karen's Maine Coon kitty (high resolution photo), is in search of a new home! He is currently in the care of a Maine Coon rescue group in Maryland, and would love to find a loving, permanent home to settle into. He is a large, three-year old purebred Maine Coon who looks just like a little lion. He is vocal, friendly, and in good health. He enjoys being around people, and likes the occasional pat. He prefers to find an ideal vantage spot in a room to observe all activity from, rather than cozying up in a comfy lap. He does not like to be picked up, at all! We are not sure about his compatibility with other cats and dogs, but we think he would enjoy their companionship and the interaction. He is strictly an indoor cat and needs to remain as such. He is a sweet kitty!

Click on the picture below to see Simba's Petfinder posting:

Rescue group's information:

Organization Profile: MCRescue, Frederick, MD
Contact Email: mainecoon_max@yahoo.com

Potential adopters should live within 2 hours of the DC area.

In Lieu of Flowers, make a donation to a worthy cause

For anyone who would like to make a gift to memorialize Brooke, we ask that instead of bringing flowers on Saturday, you please make a donation in his name to one of the following three charities, all of which were causes and interests close to his heart: Boy Scouts of America (endless summer weekends spent "doing something" with a coterie of boys trailing behind); Conservation International (Dad was an avid outdoorsman); or Woolly Mammoth Theatre (later in life, Dad became a very active patron of the local DC Theater scene).

• To donate to Boy Scouts of America, please click here.
• To donate to Conservation International, please click here.
• To donate to the Woolly Mammoth Theatre, please click here.

Our heartfelt thanks to all who choose to remember Brooke in this way.

Memorial Service for Brooke Stauffer, Saturday, September 29, 2007.

Dear Friends and Family:

The Stauffer Kids have decided to hold a Memorial Service to celebrate the life of Brooke Stauffer on Saturday, September 29, 2007. Christian will be posting a link to an "Evite" on this blog (take a look on the right-hand side of the blog beneath the top photo), and it would be hugely helpful just in terms of planning if you could RSVP to the Evite so we know how many people to plan for. Posting your response on the Evite would be immeasurably easier than you calling or e-mailing us to let us know you are attending, so if possible we ask that you do so.

Karen's family will hold a separate memorial service for her in the Washington, DC area during the beginning of November. Details about that will be posted on the blog as well. Of course, as Karen and Brooke shared a life together, certainly she will feature in Brooke's service, as he will in hers. And everyone who wants to attend either or both is welcome to. For those of you who best remember Brooke and Karen "together," we hope you will plan accordingly. However, the families have collectively decided not to hold a "joint" services, as such.

The details are as follows: an "open house" will be held on Saturday, September 29, 2007 at Brooke and Karen's house (1115 E. Capitol Street, SE, Washington, DC 20003, bordering on Lincoln Park). Detailed driving directions and a map will be posted in the near future. The house is near Eastern Market, and RFK Stadium. As parking can be tight on Capitol Hill on the weekends, you might plan to take the Metro (orange line to Eastern Market, or Red Line to Union Station). For out of town guests, there are plenty of hotels a 10-minute cab ride away. We suggest you search in the Union Station vicinity.

The Open House will be from 12pm - 5pm. We hope that you will come and drop by for as long or short a time as you are able to, to laugh, cry, and share memories with us and each other about Brooke (and Brooke and Karen). Food and drinks will be provided. At some point during the afternoon, we will take the opportunity to eulogize Dad.

As many of you know, Brooke was not at all a religious or spiritual man. We completely respect your choice to mourn or grieve in whatever way you feel is most appropriate, and all thoughts and prayers are always very much appreciated. However, in keeping with Brooke's wishes, the Memorial Service will be secular in nature, and we hope that you can respect its non-religious atmosphere.

Many, many thanks for the outpouring of love and support that we and Karen's family have received during this terrible ordeal.

- Hilary

A touching and wonderful email from folks who met Brooke and Karen on Mackinac Island

I received this email on the blog account today. Two people who met Brooke and Karen on Mackinac Island wrote us their recollections...

-----
Christian,

Let me start by saying how sorry I am for your loss. I was quite shocked to hear of the crash.

My wife and I had flown into Mackinaw Island on the 22nd of August arriving around 3:30pm. We met Karen and Brooke while waiting for a taxi from the airport to our respective hotels. As the taxis on Mackinaw are horse drawn carriages sharing a ride is not unusual and we discussed flying and our respective trips while waiting for the cab and during the ride into town. There was a bit of joking about the amount of luggage we (were not) carrying versus the collection of bags Karen and Brooke had with them :-) Karen seemed pretty outgoing and animated, Brooke a little more reserved - perhaps quietly amused would be a good description.

In a rather odd coincidence we both called a cab on the 24th for the ride back to the airport - so we shared the ride again. I discussed with Brooke my work with industrial controls and that I had probably read several of his articles in the past. Brooke was telling me about his new book.

On reaching the airport we loaded our aircraft and then Karen showed me the Trinidad. I did not board her aircraft but did take a good look at the plane and the control panel. The aircraft appeared to be in good condition. Karen took a look at my plane (a Liberty XL2) and then returned to preflight the Trinidad. I did notice Karen talking with several other pilots who landed while we were at the airport - I believe she was checking on the cloud ceilings. I departed Mackinaw IFR at 1:17pm and saw the Trinidad on the ramp at that time. I am assuming that they departed shortly thereafter based on the time of the accident.

Unfortunately I do not have any pictures from the trip - I wish now that I had one to share with you. Karen and Brooke were relaxed and happy - a nice couple enjoying themselves. Brooke was gracious enough to walk over to my plane before we departed and hand me his business card and said to send him my address and he would forward a signed copy of his book to me. I thought that was a very nice gesture - and from what I have read of him it was also quite normal.

It was a pleasure meeting Karen and Brooke. If I can be of any assistance to you please let me know.

Sincerely

Mark Radabaugh

There are new recent pictures of Brooke and Karen up on Flickr

Paul Seefedlt sent in pictures of Brooke and Karen visiting the family on August 18-22, 2007, and these photos were taken on Tuesday or Wednesday of that week. These are probably the most recent pictures we have of them, and I am happy to see they spent good times with the family prior to August 24th.

The Muskegon Chronicle wrote a recent article about this story and they have suspended dive operations

The Muskegon Chronicle posted a story yesterday. They interviewed Kathleen and the author makes the claim that the MSP have suspended dive recovery operations. I have not yet spoken with the detective in charge of the investigation but I will confirm the details of this story later today.

Update 12:03 EDT

Christian,

I talked with the Dive Commander, Sgt. Larry Schloegl, this morning, and yes, they have suspended active searching. If something comes up (literally or figuratively) they will investigate, but they are not sending boats and divers out.

Kathleen's update on her visit to Bois Blanc Island

Dear All,

Basically, there is no news on Karen and Brooke. We drove up to Cheboygan on Wednesday and took the 8 am ferry the next day over to Bois Blanc Island. I was appalled at the expanse of water between the Island and the mainland. I didn't realize until I was looking at it what a very large area there was to search. To give you a better idea: it takes the ferry 45 minutes to cross from downtown Cheboygan to the marina on the Island.

We were met at the boat landing by the couple who first heard the explosion from the plane. His feeling about the sound was that the plane exploded in air. I talked with George (other owner) about this and he says that there is no history of in-air explosions with this plane, but he will research that. Also, I thought an explosion might have occurred when Karen switched fuel tanks in mid-flight, and a spark ignited the fuel. George says she was supposed to switch tanks on landing, and if not then, before she took off again. He does not buy the in-air explosion idea.

While we were on the island, the Michigan State Police were searching the area. Their staging area was at the Mackinac City Marina. In the photo, you will see about eight SUVs, two boat trailers and there also was a covered trailer carrying their diving gear. We could just barely see the two boats from the home of the observer.

On our return to the mainland, on Friday morning we went over to the Cheboygan State Police post. The debris that has washed up is being collected there. Thursday morning, the back seat of the plane washed up. It is a bench seat, about three feet wide. George says that seat is not attached to the plane, it just sits on the floor behind the pilot and copilot seats. Another seat also washed up. From pictures of the Trinidad on the web, it appears to me it is a seat, not a seat-back. We were told it has an 'R' on it, so it may be the right-hand seat. Also in the collection were some personal items of Karen's, including a bra and a pair of shoes. There also was a flip-flop that looked as if it could be Brooke's. And the rest of the debris was the window/door frames we have seen on the blog. I was not allowed to take a photo of the pile of debris.

I am attaching photos, and I left them large so you can see the detail. If anyone has a problem with the size of this email, let me know and I will send the photos in smaller groups.

1. A view of the east end of Bois Blanc Island from Point Nipigon on the mainland, just east of Cheboygan.
2. The police staging area at Mackinac City marina.
3. One State Police search boat searching the area.
4. Two search boats in the area.

It has been suggested to us by one of the divers that the Dive Commander in Lansing has to make the decision as to whether the search will continue this week. I have a call in to him to find out what the status actually is. It has also been suggested to us that if he is going to downgrade the search, we should call our Michigan congressperson. So as soon as I get the status I will move forward.

I'll keep you all posted when there's more news.

Love,
Kathleen

No recent news for Friday. Hilary sent in some more photos

We have no recent news as of today. A reporter from the area near where Karen's mother lives is airing a story today or tomorrow, locally in Michigan. If we can get a video of it, we'll post it.

Hilary sent in some more photos today. Have a quiet and safe weekend. We'll post what we know here when we get more information.